


bruise colored words

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Series: bruises and wounds of the soul [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursleys, Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Everyone lives, M/M, Negligence, Poor Harry, Verbal Abuse, and they're in love, except for the bad guys, poor babies, poor sirius, sirius gets really fucking pissed, sirius wants to fucking murder the dursleys, so sirius and remus don't die, thank fuck remus is so calm, who can blame him, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry admits that the Dursleys abused him. Sirius tries to remain calm. Remus holds them all together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bruise colored words

**Author's Note:**

> There simply aren't enough fics about the Dursleys abuse of Harry. Before I begin this, however, I want to clear things up. Child abuse, I believe, can be broken down into five categories.  
> 1\. Physical  
> 2\. Sexual  
> 3\. Emotional  
> 4\. Verbal  
> 5\. Neglect  
> Emotional and Verbal abuse are very similar. However, verbal abuse is in words (e.g. "Freak" or "Boy") whereas emotional abuse can be more of a lack of words (e.g. silent treatment to make a child feel unloved.) Neglect is, obviously, when a child is neglected (e.g. not being fed, not being given the proper clothes, or not being loved enough.) Neglect can also be neglect of health, such as the Dursleys forcing Harry to live under the stairs or forcing him to do all the chores.  
> I don't believe the Dursleys physically abused Harry. Canonically, there are no signs. Of course, if you believe it, that could also be canon because it hasn't been proven that the Dursleys never physically abused Harry. I think the only one of them who hit Harry was Dudley, though.  
> But Harry is certainly a victim of emotional and verbal abuse as well as neglect. There are signs of that, so this fanfic will focus on those signs. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -bubblylikesparklingcider

"What did he mean?" Sirius asks as soon as they're in the door of 12 Grimmauld Place and at first Harry doesn't know what he's talking about.

"What?" He asks, confused, and Remus looks sadly at him from beside Sirius.

"Your friend. George. When he said that the Dursleys had bars on your windows?" Sirius looks upset and Harry's stomach flips. He hadn't planned on ever having to tell his godfather about the Dursleys. He's come to accept it over time, accept that it wasn't his fault.

Even if some days he still believes it was.

"Oh." Harry laughs nervously, scratches the back of his head. "Um, the Dursleys just never really liked me doing magic."

Sirius tilts his head to the side and looks stern. Remus lays a hand on his elbow, murmurs something in his ear and Sirius nods slowly.

"Let's take this into the drawing room." Sirius says seriously (and honestly, Harry would laugh at that pun if it weren't for the fact that he's so nervous he's shaking.)

Sirius sits on one of the couches and motions Harry onto the one directly across from it while Remus gets Kreacher to make them some tea. Neither godfather nor godson speak until they're all sitting down, Harry staring down at the tea in his cup.

"You know, Professor Trelawney once predicted my death in a teacup." Harry says conversationally and Sirius growls. (Actually fucking growls.)

"Harry." Remus says and Harry looks up at them.

"It scared me. McGonagall said I shouldn't believe her, but I couldn't help but be scared. Because one night I accidentally blew up my aunt. Not my Aunt Petunia, my Aunt Marge." Harry says and snorts because it was actually kind of funny in retrospect. "I didn't mean to blow her up, but I was angry. The Dursleys...they hated magic. They, um, thought I was a...freak or something because of it. They told everyone I was going to a school for troubled boys and everyone believed it. She was being cruel about it, but she always was, and I just- you know."

Sirius clenches his fist and Harry clears his throat.

"I packed up whatever I could and ended up accidentally hailing the Knight Bus. And I saw...Padfoot. Sirius. Yeah." Harry looks back down at his tea.

"Harry, you're not quite getting to the point." Remus says as gently as possible and Harry shifts uncomfortably.

"I just- what do you even want to know?" Harry asks. "I've forgiven them. I know that what they did to me wasn't right, I know it's not my fault."

"Do you?" Sirius asks and Harry remembers that Sirius ran away from home because of his parents. He shifts again, unsure of what to do.

"Did they hit you?" Remus asks finally and Harry shakes his head.

"No. Well...." Harry hesitates and Sirius leans forward.

"Harry. Please." Sirius says quietly, pleadingly and Harry takes a deep breath.

"Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. My aunt and uncle never hit me...Dudley did. But he didn't- look, I don't think he really meant it. We've made up and I saved his life and he was nice to me when they were being moved to protect them. He was just...I don't know. I guess he was influenced by his parents." Harry shrugs and Sirius exhales. Remus nods. 

"What else, Harry?" Remus asks.

"They locked me in the cupboard under the stairs until I was eleven. They moved me up to the second bedroom when I started getting my Hogwarts letters." Harry gulps. "They'd lock me up in the cupboard if they thought I was bad. And they had locks on the door to the bedroom and bars on the window and a little cat flap to give me food through when they locked me up there."

"Fucking hell." Sirius swears and Remus places a hand on the small of his back.

"Alright." Remus says and Harry looks at him then, green eyes dull.

"I- they-" Harry breaks off and Sirius reaches across to him and takes his hand.

"S'okay, Harry. Just tell us." Harry manages a weak smile.

"They would force me to do all of the chores. Cooking, cleaning the house, doing the yard work. If it wasn't done right, they'd- well, you know." Harry makes a locking motion and Sirius nods.

"Anything else?" Remus asks even though they all know there's more, they all know that there's no fucking way that's all of it.

"They'd call me names." Harry says, so quietly that no one's sure he's spoken, not even himself. 

"What kind of names?" Remus asks, deadly calm. Harry shakes his head, a sob erupting from his throat and Sirius is beside him in an instant.

"Harry, Harry listen. Shh, Harry listen to me. Shh, you have to tell us. You'll feel better. You need to tell us." Harry leans his head into Sirius shoulder and breathes in the comforting scent of his godfather.

"Waste of space. Boy. Freak." Harry chuckles bitterly, but he's crying. "That was a favorite. They didn't like my magic, like I said, and so they'd lock up my wand and my books and they made me keep Hedwig in a cage."

"Okay." Sirius whispers. "Okay. Is that all?

"Yes." Harry says and lets out another sob. "I mean, you already knew some of it."

"Like how you never had birthdays or presents?" Sirius asks. Harry nods. "Okay. It's okay, Harry. It's okay, you can cry. It's okay to cry."

Harry sniffles. "I know. I didn't before, but I know now."

"Okay." Sirius says, and it's becoming a mantra, soothing to Harry's ears. Okayokayokay.

"We love you, Harry." Remus says and Harry coughs.

"I love you guys, too."  
/----/----/----/  
"I'm gonna kill them." Sirius whispers heatedly as he and Remus lay alone in bed. Remus sighs beside him and rolls over to face him.

"Sirius." He says sternly. "You can't. Harry wouldn't want you to."

"I know, but- God, Moony. Just," Sirius squeezes his eyes shut. "That's James and Lily's kid. That's my godson. And someone fucking hurt him."

"I know." Remus says. "I know. But Harry needs to get over this without revenge."

Sirius doesn't respond and Remus sits up.

"He's agreed to see a Mind-Healer, he's agreed to talk about this. And he's has the Weasleys and he has us and he has Ginny. He has Hogwarts." Remus sighs. "Sirius."

"Remus." Sirius sits up as well. "Remus, I was abused in this house. My mother. In this house."

Remus knows this, but Sirius never talks about it, never wants to talk about it, so he avoids the topic completely.

"I can't- I've never really gotten over it." Sirius is crying now and Remus knows it's bad. "I can't let Harry suffer the same thing."

"He doesn't have to." Remus says gently. "He's getting help."

"What if it's not enough?" 

"It'll be enough." Remus says and pulls Sirius into him.

They have sex that night, slow and sweet and sad and the next morning Harry is up before them, making breakfast with Kreacher and smiling at them with his green eyes sparkling like Lily's.

They eat in comfortable silence until Harry speaks up.

"Thank you." He says. "For listening last night. And insisting that I tell you."

"Of course, Harry." Sirius says. "You're always welcome to tell us anything."

"So," Harry grins impishly. "If I tell you guys that you need to learn some good Silencing charms you'll listen to me?"

"Harry!"  
/----/----/----/  
It isn't okay. Not at first. And that's fine. They accept that. Harry still gets uncomfortable in arguments and always seems too tense, but they're getting better. He chooses to tell his friends, and they love him even more for it. Hermione cries and hugs him. Ron sits with his arm around Harry, tears streaming down his face and tells him that he's always welcome in their home, that Molly loves him like a son. Ginny absolutely sobs and then looks angry and says she'd like to hex the Dursleys into oblivion. (Sirius agrees with her. Harry and Ginny disappear into Harry's room and everything gets very silent, because apparently Harry knows some decent Silencing charms.)

So it's not okay. But they know that. And they can accept it.


End file.
